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Masturbation.... fighting the urge
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Is Masturbation wrong in the eyes of God?
Will it affect my physical and/or mental health in the future?
Will it affect my marriage?
What is Masturbation?
In simple terms, masturbation means the erotic artificial stimulation of the sexual organs often to the point of orgasm (climax), but usually without sexual contact.
It’s practised by both males and females, although the incidence among growing males is undoubtedly much higher. The very nature of the males anatomy seems to lend itself to this pastime, which is given various common names like “igbo ncha” in the Igbo language. Perhaps the best known one is “Self-abuse.”
The youth is very prone to erotic thoughts. Particularly in the second half of the teen years, the tremendous psychological and mental development changes that occur often bring an overabundant emphasis on sex.
In the case of the young male, he suddenly becomes aware that he is growing, that he is a male, that sexual development (supra-public, chest, face, armpits) become pronounced. This can occur quite suddenly.
Indeed, in a couple of years and even less, a puny, under-developed youngster can develop into adult manhood. His thoughts turn to the female form. As hormone production surges ahead, and as sperms fill his seminal vesicles, with nowhere to go, “wet dreams” often occur at night. These are usually associated with dreams which may involve erotic scenes, or actual sexual intercourse and sex play, often accompanied by very pleasurable sensations.
Similarly, some young girls may find themselves stimulated unintentionally. Many have a heightened sexual desire just before or after their menstrual period.
So if you have experienced such arousal, there is nothing wrong with you. This is a normal response of a youthful body. Such sensations, even if very intense, are not the same as masturbation, since they are largely involuntary. And as you grow older, the intensity of these new sensations will subside.
Curiosity and the novelty of these new sensations, though, lead some youths deliberately to manipulate, or play with, their sexual organs.
Indeed, commencing anywhere from the early to mid-teens (it varies with the personal development of the individual), an orgasm with ejaculation is possible. This means that the growing lad is quite capable of impregnating a female with sperms and initiating pregnancy. Similarly, it means he is capable of recurring orgasms elicited by simple artificial means. In the female, the clitoris is stimulated to the point where orgasm occurs.
How Widespread is Masturbation In Youths?
This subject has been researched by numerous authorities over the years. Many claim the 97 percent of males and more than 90 percent of female have practised it in some form at some stage of their lives. They also claim that the other 3 percent of the males and 10 percent of the females (the abstainers) are liars!
Indeed, many regard this as an awakening of the awareness of their bodies and the things it can accomplish. Thus, they say, it is part of growing up.
Is Masturbation Considered to be Medically Harmful to the Person Practising It?
Over the years, an enormous amount has been said and written on the topic. The older views claimed that serious disorders awaited anyone practising the habit. What’s more, the seriousness of the effects was related to the length of time in which it was indulged.
Terrifying conditions were said to occur. Various writers claimed that it would wither away practically every organ of the system, interfere with mental acuity and the powers of reasoning, cause cancer, diabetes, kidney and liver diseases; weaken the muscles, and initiate frigidity.
Many modern writers believe that such diseases are not likely. Nevertheless there are other ill effects. Prostatic hypertrophy, a very common disorder of aging males can be as a result of prolonged masturbation.
Would you say the immediate problems also make the habit inadvisable?
Certainly. By experiencing these transient “pleasure” (if they can be called by this name, and even this is doubtful), it is easy to develop a sex-oriented outlook. Indeed the more the habit is practised, the greater amounts of time will be spent in erotic thought. Obviously, the source of impure thoughts can be traced to what the person sees and hears. Watching and reading pornographic materials, romance novels with sexual content, TV programs that include immorality and nudity plays a major role in masturbation. There is nothing that will disturb a youth’s line of normal thought more than having his mind filled with sexual oriented materials. If his mental machinery is geared to fit this line of thought, he’ll gradually develop an impure, immoral outlook on life.
The scriptures say, “as a man thinks...so is he.” Let the youth fill his or her mind with impure thoughts, and that’s the person he will inevitably become. Indeed, so pre-occupied with sensuous thoughts do some lads become that their studies gradually start to fall behind. Their powers of normal concentration dwindle. Their entire outlook, all their waking hours can easily become filled with impure thoughts of the other sex.
For a student trying to make a grade, trying to achieve an education that will fit him for a decent position in the world, this is a most unsatisfactory position to be in.
I believe that sexual orientation activities are for “after-marriage.” When engaged in with love and respect for the partner, sex means so much. Carried out in a carnal, erotically emotional capacity, it misses out. Save it for when it means most to you...and your wife.
Many doctors also believe that the constant stimulation of artificial sex play can reduce the sensitivity of the nerve-end organs located in the glans. This, they say, can reduce the pleasure that sex will ultimately have in store for them. Perhaps this is an added reason why abstinence is best.
In whole, the exercise is purely transitory. There is no warmth, no affection, no intrinsic love involved. It is a means to an end, and in this aspect, has a lot in common with the drug addict who is merely interested in the next “fix” for his personal gratification.
How Can I Fight the Urge?
The first thing to do is
Make Up Your Mind To Stop
It all begins with your will. Most youths that practice it want to stop but don't know how to say no when the urge comes. You can actually resist it. This happens when you decide not to do it again. Most masturbate when they are anxious or tensed up. This is a childish way to react to problems. Whenever problems and frustrations seem overwhelming, “throw all your anxiety upon God”
Most of the time, you may stumble upon something that is sexually stimulating either by seeing it or hearing it, the Bible recommends: prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled” (1 Peter 1:13NIV). You can refuse to think in that direction. Making up your mind to stop will help you control your thoughts. You’ll be surprised to see the arousal die down as if nothing happened. Though it is difficult to reject bad thoughts, it is very possible. You can find something to busy yourself with that will help distract you from the thought. Force yourself to start thinking good thoughts. It all starts from the mind. You can control your thoughts.
Meditate on the Scriptures
Reading, Studying and thinking on the bible is one of the surefire ways of keeping yourself from engaging in the act. The word of God is a cleanser, a purifier, and a refiner. It can keep you from committing the act. A young man once told me that anytime he decided to masturbate, he does not read the bible that morning. If he reads it, the words will be with him throughout the day preventing him from doing that. Had he decided not to masturbate, he would have combined that decision with reading the bible and would have dealt with that habit a long time ago.
Prevention is Better
This is wisdom. A wise person foresees the danger ahead and takes precautions; the simpleton goes blindly on and suffers the consequences. Most youths keep falling into this habit due to the false sense of strength against the habit. They feel that they have overcome it and cannot fall again only for them to wander into the same environment that causes them to do it and fall. It is wise to avoid those things that makes you vulnerable. For example, certain activities, wearing some tight fitting clothing, eating certain foods, perusing through certain reading materials and watching certain programmes on TV can cause you to be sexually stimulated. It is then wise to avoid such.
Starve it
Anything you feed, grows. Once you starve the habit by not doing those things that encourage it to be strong, it will die. But anytime you go back to them, it revives. The most sensible thing to do is to starve the habit. Stop watching those sexual oriented materials and refuse to engage in immoral thoughts. You can.
There are sometimes that you could be particularly vulnerable to. When you are alone or for some certain ladies, at certain times in the month, their sexual desires can be intense. Even when you are emotionally hurt or depressed. Do something about it. Get wholesome activities that will activate your mind and give it less opportunity to gravitate towards immoral thoughts. People that are consumed with vision hardly fall into this habit. Most of the time, it comes from the idle mind.
PRAY
Ask the Holy Spirit to help you. He knows what you are passing through but won’t intervene till you ask Him to. Prayer produces power and can help you to say no when the desire comes. Many have testified that once the desire comes and they prayed, it went down and completely disappeared.
When You’ve Done All and It Does not Work...
Speak to someone who can help, such as a parent or a pastor. Let young men confide in mature Christian men and young women confide in mature Christian women. Anything concealed will grow. Once you open it up to a trusted person, it will loose its power over you. You will then be accountable to that person and he will help you bear the burden.
In Case You Did It Again...
Especially when you have worked real hard in keeping yourself from doing it, of course you’ll feel crushed and so unworthy, but you have to realize that mistakes do happen and for you to still want to fight it shows that you are still winning.
When that mistake occurs, analyze what led up to it and deal with it.
The REWARDS
There is more to youthful living than self-abuse. Leave sex till the time when complete, normal, natural fulfillment is possible. Then it will mean much more to you. One of the greatest thing in life is the ability to share. In this respect, sex represents the ultimate. Sharing yourself with another, giving yourself to a person with whom you are deeply involved emotionally, in the full sense of the word, represents the maximum in true love. That comes after marriage. Other Rewards include:
Good conscience, improved sense of self worth, greater moral strength, assurance of good health, clear and pure mind, closer relationship with God.
For consultation and therapy, please contact this numbers:
Anambra: 08063388900
Ebonyi: 08038724198, 08088095687
Lagos: 08060928034
